WWW: Good attempt to incorporate wide contexts / (Clerification to the other WWW from Mr Bush). Interesting argument with relevant citations. Good use of theory, such as Uses and Gratifications + Propp, clear understanding of text shown. Supports argument, good analysis looking into representations. Good overall evaluation of the debate. Variety of books and websites.
EBI: Shorter Paragraphs. Less on Dr No. More on Skyfall, especially near the start. More references, especially theory - representation (eg Dyer), feminist (Mulvey). Work on expression, clearer argument, variety of sentences, create more engaging writing. Use more quotes, link back to institution factor (Why James Bond was successful franchise in making loads at the box office). Add some theories to support your analysis i.e women representation. Should have included more media terminology and theories to make the debate more interesting. Order your footnote correctly. Check grammar, Capital Letters in correct place.
Write what mark/grade you are aiming for in your second draft.
D
Write a numbered list of five things you will do or change for your second draft that will help you get there. Be specific and explain in detail.
Check grammar, Capital Letters in correct place.
Shorter Paragraphs
Work on expression, clearer argument, variety of sentences, create more engaging writing.
Add some theories to support your analysis
Order your footnote correctly
Shorter Paragraphs
Work on expression, clearer argument, variety of sentences, create more engaging writing.
Add some theories to support your analysis
Order your footnote correctly
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